Movie Night: I, Frankenstein

Screen Shot 2014-08-17 at 1.24.52 pmI, Frankenstein wasn’t advertised a great deal in Australia, and the one ad I did see was so long ago I didn’t realise the film had actually come out.

So this movie night I decided to track it down.

I have to start by saying I’ve never been a fan of Harvey dent. His dimpled chin annoys me.

Screen Shot 2014-08-17 at 1.16.45 pm

Ugh

You can guess by the title of this film that it’s about Frankenstein, or rather, Frankenstein’s monster. Before watching, I was not sure the film makers were even aware that the monsters name was not actually ‘Frankenstein’, but I was pleasantly surprised. Those who do mislabel the monster as ‘Frankenstein’ seem to do it out of stupidity, and receive the monster’s anger for it. Eventually I think the monster gets so used to being called ‘Frankenstein’ that he’s just like ‘F*** it’ and lets them.

I, Frankenstein, while mostly about Frankenstein’s monster, is actually more about a war between demons and gargoyles. Yes. I said gargoyles. God, in all his wisdom, sent these stony protectors down to earth to keep the vulnerable humans safe.

Screen Shot 2014-08-17 at 1.12.34 pm

I may be stone, but my heart is all... heart?

‘I may be stone, but my heart is all… heart?’

The Gargoyle Order is headed up by Èowyn from the Lord of the Rings film trilogy, or if you prefer actor names, Miranda Otto. Despite not once changing her outfit, the gargoyle queen is loved by her subjects. She is the only one who has a ‘direct connection’ to the arch angels. I’m not sure what this means exactly, and we don’t really get to find out. Perhaps the arch angels didn’t want to give out their mobile number to just anyone.

Yes, I'm just going to send a memo to the arch angels. BRB

‘Yes, I’m just going to send a text to the arch angels. BRB’

The film starts out with Harvey Dent, I mean Aaron Echhart, talking about how he was created by Frankenstein. He explains that the doctor shunned him and tried to kill him, so in retribution Harvey Dent kills the doctor’s new wife. I think that’s a little mean, but what are you gonna do?

The doctor goes after Frankenstein intending to murder him, but in the process is killed by frostbite or pneumonia, or hypothermia–something to do with the cold. Classic.

It's cold. Now I'm dead

‘It’s cold. Now I’m dead’

The monster decides to bury the doctor in his family cemetery. This is all within the first five minutes of the film, so don’t think I’m revealing the plot on you.

At the cemetery Harvey Dent is attacked by demons, and out of sheer luck he kills them. The gargoyles descend and take the monster back to their headquarters. This is where the monster meets the queen.

To be fair, even an accidental killing of a demon looks cool.

To be fair, even an accidental killing of a demon looks cool.

The queen decides not to kill him (how nice) and instead says something like “I understand that Doctor Frankenstein never gave you a name. I would like to call you Adam.” She doesn’t allow him time to respond to his new name and just starts calling him Adam from thereon in.

Umm, excuse me lady, let Harvey Dent choose his own name. Maybe he wanted to be called Jimmy, or Dave, or Stan.

Never-the-less, the now-called Adam is like, thanks but no thanks, to the queen’s offer of shelter and instead spends the next two hundred years avoiding people.

Now we’re about fifteen minutes into the film.

As you can understand, I feel that this film moves very quickly, some might even argue too quickly. I would probably agree with them. There is so much backstory going on that it almost needed a prequel to fit everything in.

The plot of this movie centres around the fact that the Demon Prince, played by Bill Nighy (who is amazing, as usual), wants to study Adam so he can create an army of demon hordes.

I am the demon prince!

‘I am the demon prince!’

See! I AM THE DEMON PRINCE

‘See! I AM THE DEMON PRINCE’

He wants Adam because he doesn’t realise that Frankenstein’s journal is still hanging around in the queen’s safe. To be fair, Adam didn’t know that either.

Eventually Bill Nighy gets the book, and his first thought is to hand it straight over to his scientist lady. The one who thinks he’s slightly morally corrupt. Sounds like a great plan. If I were there I might have suggested a photocopier. Not give the scientist the only copy.

Here you go, I probably won't need this.

‘Here you go, I probably won’t need this.’

Anyway the film is actually not bad, although the dialogue could have used some work. The demons look like orcs crossed with aliens, but I guess that makes sense.

Yes I'm a demon, that doesn't mean I can't be fashionable.

‘Yes I’m a demon, that doesn’t mean I can’t be fashionable.’

The one thing I could not get on board with was the jarring American voice-over style accent that Frankenstein’s monster has. Come on! The whole film is set in Britain, everyone is British. EVERYONE EXCEPT HARVEY DENT.

Needless to say I do not believe in Harvey Dent for the position of Frankenstein’s monster. I won’t even go into the ridiculousness of the scars all over Adam’s face. If he was made out of different body parts I’d get it, but he’s not, he’s all Harvey Dent. Why does he have a scar running lengthwise down his face? WHY?

Screen Shot 2014-08-17 at 1.22.49 pm

Phew, okay. Rant over.

Still, see this movie. Here’s the trailer:

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